It is finally warming up in New England so I took Claire on my morning run today. She typically naps around 9 so, as we headed out the door at 8, I thought it would be perfect: we'd run around the pond, see some doggies, have the sun on our faces and then she'd crash when we got home.
That's not quite how it worked out. She crashed about half way around which meant I had a very sad baby in a stroller with half way home behind me and half way home in front. I also had many many opinionated dog owners glaring at me like I was the worst mother in the world, wondering why didn't I stop and console my child. Because she didn't want to be consoled. She wanted to be home. In her crib. Napping. And the only way for me to get her there was to run faster.
Did I stop and check on her? Yes.
Did I take her out of her stroller? No. That would have been suicide.
One older woman in particular who was perhaps 15 seconds ahead of us with her dog kept turning around to check on us. Several times she turned around like she was going to intervene which first made me self conscious and then started to tick me off. In my head I started making up responses to her possible parenting criticisms, none of which were very Christ-like, let alone civil.
The whole time I was running I kept thinking about the advice a friend gave me at one of Claire's baby showers. She said that when I saw other parents' parenting techniques to remember they are doing the best they can. I thought she said it to help me be patient with parenting styles different than my own but today I realized, no, she said it for when I was feeling inadequate but doing the best that I can. Like today. I wanted to put it on a placard and hang it around my sad baby's neck. "I'm doing the best I can!"
As I came to this revelation the woman in front of me decided she had had enough and she turned around and stopped. Heaven help her, or me...but it was a blessing. As I braced for impact her big old dog Ernie came over, completely distracting Claire out of her tears while the woman cooed and smiled at her. There was no lecture. No parenting advice. Just a simple "someone isn't happy today" and calm, kind voice. How wise of her to not launch into what I should do or how I should do it but instead lending a helping hand. I think that is a life lesson: don't pass judgement or lecture--just help.
Sigh. Being a mom is hard.
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